I'm not a thief!

Mom says I'm a thief because I was appropriating some yarn balls to play with. 

Hey! I even shared with Minnie. 

If she didn't want me to have them, she should not have been stacking them on the couch and leaving them. 

I figure it is my inheritance from Great Grandma, who gave all those wonderful toys, I mean yarn, to mom.

I have even convinced my friend Sherlock that he should appropriate some yarn to play with as well. Sounds like his campaign is going slowly, as his mom hid the toys, yarn, I mean yarn, from him as well. Next step in this is to figure out how to open cabinets and containers, as well as doors. 

It's hard work being a cat!

Later!

Monster

Trees are for climbing

Aren't I right? Evidently when the tree is in the house, one gets in trouble when one climbs it.

I'm still on mom's naughty list, so I'm sneaking this post in while she is at some school mock trial for the biggest slave.

Later!

Monster

Happy birthday

Happy birthday to one of the slaves. And happy toy bag for me!

Some days!

What more can I say?

Later!

Monster 

Football

I'm not looking forward to football season getting over. Mom lets me sit with her all day, I just have to put up with her yelling at the television.

Helper, yes I am

So Mom keeps saying she is busy and I can't sit on her keyboard-which has to be broken cause it is smaller and not nearly as warm as I remember.

So to get my quality time in-I shall help with laundry. Mom seems to love it.

Later!

Monster

Sshhhhh

Mom says I have to be quiet while she writes. Grump. I shall now annoy her every chance I can get.

Helping

I'm helping mom pack for a weekend away. Aren't I great?

Life is rough

Later!

Monster

Changes

Monster here. Sorry, my mom has been using the slaves to "redo" my castle and I've been out of sorts.

It now stinks, all of our marks have been covered by the smelly paint(or that's what mom calls it). 

They moved everything around and did make it easier for us to reach the window. There is also a bed up high that I might just like.

The best part was today when I found a bag of catnip!!!!!! I made a mess and mom did catch me, but it was great! Life is great actually. I love you all...yawn...nap time. Zzzzzzzzz

The aftermath of a catnip high...

Happy weekend

Mom didn't seem impressed today with the bird my sister and I brought to her.

At least she is letting me snuggle while she watches tv.

Later!

Monster

Prison

Mom didn't let me outside this weekend. She said I would ruin the new deck. She moved my bed off the deck and it's all bumpy. 

I don't approve.

Neither did my sisters-finally something we agree on!

So I hid under the slave's new blanket.

Later! 

Monster

Hot water

Monster here. 

I'm in hiding after an incident yesterday with myself and Dad's turkey sandwich. He may have left it sitting for a moment and I may have done some quality control for him.

He was not impressed!

Happy Friday

Enjoy the weekend!

Later!

Monster 

Blanket

Monster here, 

Early post because the day you call Monday is for sleeping. Having all the slaves at home wears me out!

Anyhow, Mom has been making me a new bed, although sister Maui seems to think both moms lap

And my new bed are hers.

It is my bed and definitely not for the slave who keeps claiming it!

Later!

Monster

Seriously?

Mom has decided that it is okay to leave me home for days on end and have some strangers come to clean my toilet and feed me at the wrong times! I eat as soon as I can drag mom out of bed and no later. 

Then she comes home and leaves again! So not acceptable!

As you see, the sisters are still here. Maui isn't too bad, but the other one thinks she can sit on mom's lap. Not happening!

Later, I spy mom on the couch and that means lap time!

Monster 

Ugggg

They won't leave! Guess I'm stuck with two sisters. Now I know what the biggest slave feels like.

I'm just staying in bed today and avoiding the world.

Later!

Monster

Adoption?

So Mom came home today to cheerfully tell me that the adoption is final and the sisters are staying!?!?!?!

Why is she so cheerful? They're ruining my peaceful kingdom, using my toilet box and STEALING MY FOOD! Evidently, Minnie is on a diet, whatever that is, but it means my dish isn't always sitting there with food in it for me. Bummer!

Well, working on trying to make them realize I'm the king of the house, but they're not falling into line. Thankfully, once Mom is home I can go out and sleep in the warm grass.

On the bright side, I can lord over them that they can't be outside with me. They have to sit inside and watch from the perch. I understand when my back was turned, Maui broke Mom's screen and escaped. Unfortunately, she didn't get lost and was waiting on the front steps to come in.

Me, on my perch

Minnie, on my perch

Maui, on my perch

Later!

Monster

Update on my kondo

THERE ARE STRANGERS IN MY KITTY KONDO!

I got to peak into the room last night, Dad let me. There are two strange cats in my house! I do not approve, I don't think. The black one seemed nice until the big one hissed at me. I left quickly after that!

I'll do more recon tonight and report in.

Later!

Monster 

(Mom's note--he now has two big sisters. The first two meet and greets through the door were not stellar. Will be working on introducing them slowly. Mister is not impressed with me even if he is lonely!)

Maui

Minnie

Strange doins

So a few sleeps ago, Mom washed the floor of my 'kitty kondo', which she also calls the laundry room.

Then she moved my toilet box and bought new beds.

Now suddenly I'm not allowed in my kondo and there are new smells and sounds coming from it.

She also has the door fixed so I can't get in (I'm a good door opener, you know).

What is she up to?

Any suggestions on how to get the door open?

Let me know and I'll let you know what is going on once I get in there myself!

Later!

Monster 

Bye Bitsey

Mom took my sister away this week. She's been no fun lately, we couldn't play because she couldn't walk anymore.

I'm not happy about this, I'm glad she is, and I quote mom here, "In a better place and out of pain" but I don't like that she's gone.

I don't like being alone. I miss her, even if we couldn't do anything more than sleep together in the cat bed.

Mom's talking about another cat. I don't know about this. What if this new cat isn't like Bitsey? What if she is? 

I'm in a bad mood, so here are some great pictures of my baby sister, may she rest in peace. I know I'll see her again at the Rainbow Bridge.

What is with water from above?

I would like someone to tell me why the water can't stay in my dish and feels it necessary to fall on me. I want to roll in the dirt and once the water falls, I can't until the heat lamp comes back and gets rid of the water-dirt. Mom calls it mud and doesn't appear to like it any more than I do.

Glaring isn't helping. It's not a good week.

Later!

Monster 

Secret agent

Monster here, 

Last week was too crazy around here for me to post. 

First, mom leaves me for way too many feedings, dad stayed home all day and the slaves were cranky.

Then it can't decide if it is nice outside or cold.

I disapprove.

So my apologies for missing a week.

Mom and the slaves left for another night and left my sister and I in the "kitty condo". 

As I have done in the past, I let us out of the condo and it's driving mom crazy, trying to figure out how I'm doing it. Serves her right for keeping my sister's special food away from me.

It's good to keep her wondering!

Till next time!

Monster 

Ack

Today was not one of my smarter days. I thought playing in the big white bed with one of the slaves hair toys would be fun.

Not so much when mom turned on the rain. How does she make it rain in the house???? I barely escaped with my life!

She laughed and laughed as I scrambled to escape. Lost my toy in the process.

Then I wanted outside and it rained there as well. I didn't last long, one of the slaves let me in when I cried.

I'm going to bed. Rotten day, hoping I can convince mom to come and snuggle with me.

Later!
Monster

Outside

Mom's been in the big world a lot lately. It's bright out and very warm. I'm a great help, here I am supervising her watering plants:

And here is where we spent a lot of time together, the only problem being she did not sit down and let me snuggle:

Off to "sit in the sun" as mom calls it and make sure my sister is safe.

Till later!

Monster 

Working

I am now the official moth killer for the family. I sit on the front steps and get them.

Any further questions?

Till next time,

Monster

How Dare She?!?!?!?!?!

Mom left me! She left me alone with the biggest slave and the smallest slave. She took the two slaves that will let me sleep with them. 

I totally disapprove of this! She should not be leaving me. No one else sits on the couch right, makes sure I get my under the covers time and keeps my food dish full. 

I nearly perished.

Next time she packs a bag, I must sneak into it and go along...

Time to plot and plan.

Till next time!
Monster

Privacy

Mom tries for this privacy thing. It's over-rated. She should not close doors in my face, I want to be able to go in and out as I please...and I please to do that many times in a row.

When she does this horrible thing to me, I have to show my displeasure.

I've been a busy cat this week, it's warmer out, so I don't want to snuggle as much, but I sure do appreciate all the openings of my viewing places (mom calls them windows) so I can sniff outside. I even went out the other day to "outside" and took my sister with me. She seems to like it out there, but the slaves don't let her out much.

They let that smelly dog in today again. It wouldn't play with me. Stupid dog. My sister wasn't impressed with it either, she even tried to hiss at it. I mean, look at that tail, it's twice as big as she is.

Well, it's time to lull the slaves into thinking I'm going to behave before cruising the counter and deciding what food to ruin for them today. It's been the bread lately.

Later!

Monster

Gettin' educated

So I was recently told by Mr. Sherlock that I needed to grow up and get a job.

Being a reasonably smart cat, I decided that an education would be a better move. I decided to find some learning.

So, deciding that my slaves are good at this going to school thing (I watch them leave every morning), I decided to try and hitch a ride.

This did not work out well for me. Back to the drawing board.

Till next time,

Monster

Real men wear pink

Or at least that is what I have heard my biggest slave say a time or two when he wears a pink shirt. 

To try this concept out, I took Mom's robe and tried it on for size. 

She's a bit larger than I am, but it made a great place to be under the covers and try for a sneak attack when she stepped out of the shower.

She and the slaves had the gall to leave me alone this weekend. At least my house stayed warm and I kept Bitsey out of trouble. We shared a plate of treats and snuggled on the couch all weekend.

Now that they're home, time to cause mayhem and mischief. Till next time...

Monster

Monster under the oven?

So I like to keep my toys safe and away from my sister.

Mom found 4 nerf darts, 2 random toys and 6 catnip mice under the stove, I mean in my toy box.

The problem is once I put them away, I can't get to them, but then neither can my sister.

I'm helping retrieve them, see, I'm a great helper!

Till next time, 

Monster

Stalker

Mom says I stalk her. I have no idea what she is talking about...and if I do it, so does my rotten little sister.

So I follow her when she takes her contacts out.

And when she changes laundry.

And my favorite is when she walks up and down the stairs. I'm so much faster!

Till next time,

Monster

P.S. I can call my sister rotten, but no one else is allowed to. Pick on her and face my wrath. I might even have backup on this...

A response to Sherlock

Dearest Sherlock,

I guess you being my sister's litter mate makes us related in some way, so I'll try and be kind.

First and foremost, I do have a job. I protect my sister from those slobbery things you call dogs. She's so tiny, they could eat her in a single bite. I spend a lot of time keeping them out of our house so we stay safe. We had one in the house today, I hissed and made myself look threatening while it moved around the house. It was finally smart enough to go back outside and leave us in peace.

Your sister needs to be tougher. I'm trying to get her stronger. She's kind of a wimp.

Other topics you brought up:

• Beds-they all belong to me, especially when someone is trying to rest in them. I also have the duty to attack anything that might move under the covers.
• Windows-those strings are way up there, I'm working hard at getting at them. I think your windows are much lower than mine, so it's much harder for me to reach them.  I do like to sit in the window perch my mom made for me.
• I do the run though the house game all the time. It's even better when I carry my toys and drop them in front of mom and she tosses them for me to chase (See, I work in her exercise too). I also get bored and stick my toys in the toy box (mom calls it the stove) and make her climb on the floor to pull out the drawer and fish them all out (Exercise again).
• My little person, or slave as I call them, is called Tater. She already knows how to carry me the proper way.
• Mom has figured out I like those round hair things. She has them in a locked cupboard. I can't get at them anymore. Something about Dizzy (another of my slaves) needing to have her hair up for practice and something called meets. I don't know either, but her outfits for them are shiny and fun to attack on the drying rack. Mom freaks out and threatens no treats when I do this. She then takes out ribbons and gets mad at me when I attack those as well. I ask you, aren't all strings something for us to practice with?
• And your thoughts on toys. You obviously have the wrong job. Toys are tools for my job, the one where I keep the house free of rodents (or at least mom says that is my job--any idea what a rodent is?). Lacking the real thing being around enough, I use those toys to practice my pouncing and attacking skills. 

Sherlock, you need to relax and learn to enjoy life. It sounds like you have too stressful of  a life and need to rest more. Doing all that pouncing and attacking all the time doesn't give you the opportunity of surprise.  It should be a sneak attack when they aren't looking for it.

Well, the sun is out and Bitsey needs company on the window perch to bask in the warmth.

Till next time,

Monster.

(Mom's note, this letter is in response to a post by Sherlock. It can be seen at KNOTTYNEEDLE: Monster Under the Covers http://knottyneedle.blogspot.com/2015/02/monster-under-covers.html )