Dearest Sherlock,
I guess you being my sister's litter mate makes us related in some way, so I'll try and be kind.
First and foremost, I do have a job. I protect my sister from those slobbery things you call dogs. She's so tiny, they could eat her in a single bite. I spend a lot of time keeping them out of our house so we stay safe. We had one in the house today, I hissed and made myself look threatening while it moved around the house. It was finally smart enough to go back outside and leave us in peace.
Your sister needs to be tougher. I'm trying to get her stronger. She's kind of a wimp.
Other topics you brought up:
- Beds-they all belong to me, especially when someone is trying to rest in them. I also have the duty to attack anything that might move under the covers.
- Windows-those strings are way up there, I'm working hard at getting at them. I think your windows are much lower than mine, so it's much harder for me to reach them. I do like to sit in the window perch my mom made for me.
- I do the run though the house game all the time. It's even better when I carry my toys and drop them in front of mom and she tosses them for me to chase (See, I work in her exercise too). I also get bored and stick my toys in the toy box (mom calls it the stove) and make her climb on the floor to pull out the drawer and fish them all out (Exercise again).
- My little person, or slave as I call them, is called Tater. She already knows how to carry me the proper way.
- Mom has figured out I like those round hair things. She has them in a locked cupboard. I can't get at them anymore. Something about Dizzy (another of my slaves) needing to have her hair up for practice and something called meets. I don't know either, but her outfits for them are shiny and fun to attack on the drying rack. Mom freaks out and threatens no treats when I do this. She then takes out ribbons and gets mad at me when I attack those as well. I ask you, aren't all strings something for us to practice with?
- And your thoughts on toys. You obviously have the wrong job. Toys are tools for my job, the one where I keep the house free of rodents (or at least mom says that is my job--any idea what a rodent is?). Lacking the real thing being around enough, I use those toys to practice my pouncing and attacking skills.
Sherlock, you need to relax and learn to enjoy life. It sounds like you have too stressful of a life and need to rest more. Doing all that pouncing and attacking all the time doesn't give you the opportunity of surprise. It should be a sneak attack when they aren't looking for it.
Well, the sun is out and Bitsey needs company on the window perch to bask in the warmth.
Till next time,
Monster.
(Mom's note, this letter is in response to a post by Sherlock. It can be seen at KNOTTYNEEDLE: Monster Under the Covers http://knottyneedle.blogspot.com/2015/02/monster-under-covers.html )
